How Jennifer Killpack Thrives in her Expat Life
Director of one of the largest language centers in the Middle East focusing on spoken Arabic, Jennifer shares her experience and knowledge of running an intercultural business, living overseas and learning to care for herself.
When people first meet Jennifer, her passion and impressive work ethic are obvious. She is the director of Shababeek Center for Intercultural Development in Amman, Jordan which employs 47 Jordanians who have facilitated 65,000 hours of Arabic language sessions over the course of 7 years. Her experience as a female entrepreneur in the Middle East is admirable and inspiring. Jenn doesn’t back away from a challenge, but is always willing to attack it head on, especially if there is a whiff of injustice that needs to be countered. In addition to running the center, she does consulting for startups and language learners all over the world. We interviewed Jennifer to learn a little bit more about all that she has learned in her 15 years abroad.
Tell us about yourself
I’m turning 40 this month and have now lived 15 of those 40 years overseas. I’ve lived in Indonesia for two years doing relief and development after the tsunami, the Ukraine for one year after college, teaching English and this is my twelfth year in Jordan. You could say I’m addicted to emerging myself in other cultures and languages. It’s been formative in my life, my husband’s life as well as our three kids (12, 10, & 8yrs old) who have spent all of their lives in Jordan. My husband and I currently own two businesses here in Jordan; a travel company and a language center focused on helping foreigners learn spoken Arabic and culture.
What attracted you to life overseas?
Initially adventure; to experience things outside of my routine life in Iowa which I considered a bit boring. I wanted to smell, taste and hear different things and encounter people with rich traditions different from my own. The thing that continues to draw me to life in a different culture is the privilege of interacting with a worldview vastly different than my own; one that challenges all my “formatting,” so to speak. One that has taught me that my story is just one narrative that one upbringing has programmed me to see life through. Not necessarily the accurate or true narrative, just one lens of many. This has encouraged me to challenge my preconceived notions of how the world, family and work should function.
What unlocked your potential?
I found a niche; something I was good at. Purpose is really important. I enjoy living out of who I am in every aspect of my life.
When and how did you start thriving?
Unfortunately I don’t think I had a very good self-care plan until the last couple of years. I do a better job of giving myself time off now. Our family sets aside Fridays just to be home and together without other commitments. I look forward to coming up for air each week knowing I have that time set aside to not push anything forward. Becoming fluent in the language, at least to the extent that I can navigate most any situation I find myself in gives me great ease day to day as well as regular times to exercise.
What had to change (personally or otherwise)to enhance your life overseas?
Honestly, I think I’m just beginning to work on this. I’m just starting to allow myself to live like a westerner in some ways that I previously forced myself to adapt. I’m shedding some of the self judgement for that. I’m making it a priority for our family to travel twice a year to some of the incredible destinations one can reach in a short flight from Jordan and giving myself more grace to stick out and be myself without apologies. I’m still careful not to offend people in the local community, but not as worried about just being different.
Can you name some hidden stressors that you experienced early on that you weren’t aware of at the time?
When I moved to Jordan in 2008 it was the first day of Ramadan, I was three months pregnant and had a 10 month year old. I think my initial plan to acclimate quickly, live like a local and learn everything at once was unrealistic. I wish I had done more self care and had a better long term plan. Being a parent of three kids under five is a feat in and of itself.
What are the struggles of cross-cultural life that have taken the most time to overcome?
Relationships mean different things to different people in different cultures. Transitioning from a guest to employing 50 Arab locals was not without its challenges. I hadn’t realized how much I took for granted about the priority work should take in life and it took a while to readjust my social and cultural expectations in order to be a better manager to my staff.
How have your relationships with locals affected you?
Employing people is a special kind of relationship. It brings heartache, but also allows you to partner with people to do something meaningful over a period of years. Our staff is 80% women and I love the empowerment a place of affirmation and development can provide. Currently, our entire management team is women and I’ve seen them just transform into incredible leaders who provide for their families and have been able to buy cars, further their education and that of family members and travel. Being a part of watching their lives shaped has been one of the greatest perks of my life.
What has expat life taught you that you’ll take with you the rest of your life?
I could write a very long book on this. Everything I know and who I am today came from the way living overseas has changed me. I try to experience everything as “different,” not “weird” and to teach my kids to do the same. It’s easy to see everything outside of what you’ve been raised to believe as wrong and I did that for far too long. Now, instead, I try to put myself in the shoes of others and appreciate what their upbringing, beliefs and values are contributing to the world. I seek to listen and understand a lot more than I speak or teach and never to assume or generalize as to what someone feels or believes before I hear it from them personally.
How can we keep a healthy mindset as expats?
Meditation, exercise and podcasts keep me positive and help me to be less reactive.
