Gratitude - Repatriation Part 3
My mind is full of countdowns right now.
9 days left in 2021
3 days until Christmas
And 4 days until we get on a plane to start our big move from Jordan to the US (pending 4 negative COVID tests of course)
I’ve been mentally preparing for this last week in Jordan for a while now. I’ve played out lots of possible scenarios in my head of how I might be feeling. I’ve thought to myself, “Maybe I’ll be anxious about the travel and stressed about packing…Or maybe one last wave of sadness will hit as the reality of all the losses set in…Maybe I’ll be excited to be with family and to get my hands on that first plate of Mexican food”.
What I said in the first blog of this series is still very true. Emotions cycle through me very quickly and I feel at least 5 every hour, so I’ve experienced all those feelings and more this week. But now that these final days have arrived, there’s definitely one that stands out: gratitude.
I’m grateful to my former self who spent all that time learning Arabic, so that I could get to know so many Jordanians and take a peek inside their world. And I’m so grateful for their incredible hospitality and kindness that allowed me to do that.
I’m grateful that through these relationships I’ve gotten to know the Middle East as a beautiful place. Rich with culture, generosity and wonderful people. Living here has definitely left its mark on me, and I’m honored to carry it with me wherever I go.
I’m grateful for loving, supportive family and friends in the US who are waiting to receive us with loving arms, and who will love us unconditionally as we work through any remaining transitional stress. We receive regular messages reminding us they are ready to help in any way they can, and we are very aware that not everyone is that lucky. So much gratitude.
I’m grateful for the transformational experience of living overseas.
I say it often, but I’m convinced that moving abroad is one of the best atmospheres to experience radical growth and transformation. It’s risky of course, because it’s also very strenuous and difficult. But with the right support, it can be truly amazing. Which leads me to the next thought…
I’m grateful for our friends who are truly like family.
Part of our plan to leave well was to take time to intentionally express this thanks to our dear friends. Last week we had this chance, and without a dry eye in the house, we took turns expressing our appreciation. We commemorated a beautiful decade of sweet community. Finding good friends overseas isn’t always easy, but if you manage to find your people, it creates a bond unlike any other. This is, without a doubt, the greatest loss of this transition for me, and the gratitude I feel cannot be measured.
As I say goodbye to each special person and place this week, I whisper “Thank you” and take a deep breath. I’m not who I was when I started this journey, and I love that. Now to finish up the packing and the goodbyes one step at a time, and move forward with great anticipation of whatever waits for us. Come back in a couple of weeks to get a glimpse of how we are surviving on the other side of this repatriation journey!
